I tend to be quite nostalgic. I like reunions, old pictures/slides, visiting old haunts etc. This week, I have not been 100%health-wise so thought I would look at the boxes of my Mother's slides residing in the basement. After setting up in the darkest room in the house, I began. Starting back about 1968 with pictures of my Mom and Dad; seeing them young (45 years old) with their kids laughing, mugging, or just...living tugged at the heart strings. The parties they used to have with those neighbors I wrote about in the previous blog were quite the event. There were costumes that my Katie would be envious of. Cowboys and cowgirls, Hawaiian dresses and shirts. These people would have their pictures taken, sitting on each others laps; that is husbands with other men's wives and vica versa. Can't imagine that now. Maybe I'm sheltered. All having just the greatest time. All, at this point in time, gone.
Seeing my precious bride in pictures when we first started dating; 40 years ago brings little lump in my throat. Oh how much has happened since then. Yet, a big yet, she still has that young figure. Remarkable after giving birth to 5 little cherubs. How we began our first dating; so innocent. She was my first kiss. I was her second.
Then more pictures of my parents with my two siblings, Jeff and Rita. With my Dad dieing in 1972, they actually got to do more things with him as he was older and at home more. Especially Jeff. there were several trips to Canada that Jeff went on. I went on one. Next time I visit with Jeff, I want him to tell my more about my Dad. I just feel a little cheated out of getting to know him more as an adult. I have a few regrets in my life and one is that I did not do more with him. He would ask me to go fishing and that just was not MY thing so I declined. I wish I could do that one over again. It was about me and not us.
Then there were pictures of my grandmother Duell, (Mom's mother) up in Rice Lake. I didn't know she was up as much as she was after grandpa died. I was Coast Guard or at college I guess. Pictures of uncles, aunts and cousins that I don't ever remember seeing. I wonder, when were up to Rice lake that I missed out? Could it be that I have just forgot? Naaaaaaah, couldn't be. Seeing my cousin Susie, who was my age, alive. We were quite close. She died in her 40's. Don't remember just when for sure. She was a neat kid, though. So many aunts and uncles who are not with us any more.
Do I wish I could step into the screen and mingle again? Oh yes! Does that mean that I am not happy were I am now? Absolutely not. I would just like to visit, if only for a couple of days. Then returning to the present, knowing that I might be able to return if I so desired.
It's OK to miss them, to love them, to thank God for giving the time with them that I had. That is part of what life is all about.